AN INTERVIEW WITH BILLIE GRANT
Billie reached out over instagram and after chatting on the phone a bit - we knew Billie was someone that the Denver Queer Fam should know. And we were immediately intrigued about learning more about sex education - especially in the queer world.
QDL: You are a Certified Sexual Health Educator can you tell us a little bit more about what that means?
BILLIE: A Certified Sexual Health Educator is exactly what it sounds like, I've done some workshops and gained various certifications. It's a funny practice though, that of becoming generally certified in a topic so nuanced. So for me it means I have a continued dedication to the field of sexual culture. I have several certifications with national entities that I engage with biannually (every other year) to maintain those certifications but my greatest learning has come from less structured environments. Workshops and little sexy boutiques, online panel discussions on topics like kink, gender, race, relationships... Articles steeped in discourse about the newest episode of The L Word or Sex Education. Conversations with other folks in this realm, attending their workshops and learning from them.
My commitment to more niche community within sexual culture and my most worthwhile opportunities for learning have come from stumbles upon content that I'm able to fold into my work and/or gives me a chance to ask myself difficult questions.
So, I have a title to point to in the event respectability politics rears its ugly head otherwise...the information I use the most has nothing to do with the certification I have.
How did you get started - what made you passionate about wanting to be a "sexpert"?
I came to this work as a young person. Sure, I got my first certification 3 days after turning 21 but my sexpert journey started closer to 16. It was my first non-profit job and I was part of a cohort of around 12 students from East High School who worked with Project PAVE as a healthy relationships peer educator. The healthy relationships conversation is something that is missing from a good chunk of the sex talks we had as kiddos and it's absence is noticable. It was while working for The Center on Colfax that I gained my first certification and was introduced in earnest to sexual culture work. I grew up reading Cosmopolitan magazine and watching Sex in the City but it hadn't landed that the experts named were highly skilled and focused. I assumed they were just normal writers or therapists that took an extra class here or there and could now talk about sex? I was already too deep in my studies to feel comfortable with a pivot but my heart had turned itself away from my existing journey. to be the US ambassador to Senegal after a respected career as a immigration attorney. The world of sexual culture filled every available nook of my brain and a post-colligate move to Nebraska proved the perfect opportunity to reasses and reorder priorities. I met folks who still inspire my journey.
Women like Lisa Schulze, Sofia Jawed Wessel and Dr. Lexx Brown-James LMFT, CSE, CSES really laid some critical foundation for my processes of thought both professionally and personally. Since then collaborations with artists, educators and general shit-stirrers has kept me engaged and evolving.
You yourself are currently on the journey of becoming pregnant (congrats)- what are some bumps you have ran into? What might be helpful for others to know in similar situations?
Advice to folks who want to be parents? Uhm... get a mentee? Hang out with kids, especially shit ones, their adults need a break and it'll give you a good test. Read kids books. Engage your curiosity. Ask yourself hard questions. Practice existing in conflict. Build a fucking community and really think about who you want in it. I've wanted kiddos for my entire life and started planning for them in my early twenties. I've been listening to these podcasts, I've read those books, and that one Instagram personality you follow, I met them once and we had tea. They're truly delightful in person. All this and I hadn't really asked who I wanted in my life as I welcomed new beings. I assumed I'd have a partner, our respective families (or at least theirs) and our close group of friends. None of that happened. I got to this place as a single woman, with measured ties to bio family and deep friendships spread across the country. My people are what makes this feel possible. I've loved the learning and teaching, the buds of interdependence, the resource sharing, did I mention the collective learning and growing? It deserves a second shout out. Yes there have been bumps and I'm sure I'll get the chance to share more about them as my journey continues but for now I want to communicate the power of possibility.
The choice to have children, as a queer, fat, Black woman in America is a radical one, a call for celebration! A big fuck you to history and a committment to an abolisionist world view.
To some, it feels impossible... to those of you who look around and still want to add a little wonder to the world, do it! It's our little ones we'll answer to, our descendants just as our ancestors have answered us.
What are some ways you are involved in the community here in Denver? How can we find you?
I'm all over! Look for bright hair, a fairly raucous laugh and a KN95. You might see me dancing in my Subaru while doing food distribution for Denver Community Fridge Project. You could find yourself next to me on an outdoor patio of a woman owned brewery or new venue. Maybe you'll see a post from my project Starts With B sharing anecdotal and anonymous sexual experiences paired with research findings. Come by the Denver Zine Library on a Saturday to hear what I'm listening to and check out some zines!
