A COMING OUT GIFT GUIDE

Photo From Awakening Boutique instagram

Coming out can be something you do over and over again. And can be scary and takes bravery. There are stories of people losing families, friends or their entire community at the cost of just being themselves. So if someone you know makes the decision to start living a life of freedom - acknowledge this feat. Of course, make sure they are comfortable with any of this sort of attention. As I mentioned, coming out can be a time of grief for many. So just being a good friend or family member and showing up is huge. But if you would like to do a little extra - here are some fun ways to support the person you love AND support some queer/ally owned businesses at the same time.

Take Them Out

Photo by Kate Ivy Photography

Everyone, everywhere, just wants to be heard and understood. If your friend is up for it and willing/wanting to share - take them out for a drink. Honey Elixir Bar is a queer woman owned bar that has some of the best alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks (potions as they call it). As described on their website, they are a “community gathering space that offers guests a full sensory experience of health, connection, and rejuvenation.” They are intimate, not too loud and super chill. I’m obsessed with Jo the owner and everyone who works there. They also have snacks as well and little conversation coasters.

A Party?

Photo from Wander + Graze website

Want to do something a little more fun - have a few safe people (that they select even) over to your house to celebrate. A coming out PARTY?! Yes, please! Again, I can’t stress how important it is to NOT have this be a surprise and to make sure your friend who just came out is okay with the people being there and in the right head space to “celebrate.” Best case scenario, they are able to feel proud and reminded of how loved they are. Of course every party these days needs a grazing table, so look no further for the perfect Rainbow Charcuterie Board from Wander + Graze. Shelby, the owner, is an ally in the community and these boards are the perfect addition for any party.

Self Care Gift

Photos from TOIL + TRBL website and QDL

The whole idea of coming out is that you get to be yourself. And not what most of the world expects or wants you to be. I found TOIL + TRBL through instagram and got a little gift sampler package from Sam and I am obsessed. Every bar is “infused with magic, with each collection crafted based on cycles of the moon.” I got a bar crafted on the new moon in Aquarius that smells like bergamot, lavender and spearmint. And the bar included an EMBEDDED CRYSTAL! My package also included a sample kit of astrology themed soaps which are launching this month (September) where people can build their big three - (sun, moon, rising).

A little bit more about Sam (she/they) and what she stands for: “TOIL + TRBL became a response to the commercial businesses that advertise to our fears. The more I began working on myself, the more I noticed how much my inner monologue was bullying me. Especially with care-tasks such as a skin routine. I would force myself to preform these tasks, not for my body’s sake, but out of the insecurities buried deep inside. The idea of self-care did not fully click until I reassessed that voice. Was it actually me? Or was this voice born from the advertising I had told myself was true?

When I make the time to take care of my body now, I try to actively create the space to witness my thoughts without judgment. I question where a belief may originate + if I still align with it. As a queer woman of color, I spend a lot of time unlearning the toxic messaging instilled + perpetuated by the beauty industry (+ society at large, if I’m being honest).”

Ok, we must meet/interview/learn from Sam. Support/shop at TOIL + TRBL here and follow along here.

FUN GIFTS!!

Photos from Flaming Candles Website

Check out these fun candles from Flaming Candles they have an assortment including - “ALLY” that smells like a Fig Martini, “OUT AND PROUD” that smells like a Shirley Temple and “PRIDE” that smells like a Peach Mimosa. “Andrew and Jon came up with the fun idea to create a candle brand geared towards the LGBT+ community, whimsically titled “Flaming" candles. The FLAMING brand is intended to be fun and light-hearted while embracing LGBT+ culture and aspirations. It is designed to create a way to give back to the community that means so much to them by promising a percentage of all FLAMING sales to LGBT+ charities.” Your purchase benefits The Trevor Project, the world’s largest suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ+ young people. Companies that are focused on giving back to the LGBTQ+ communities and have great products! COME ON! It’s a win win.

Photos from Boy Smells Website

Something Taylor and I have been obsessed with is Boy Smells. I found them when I was researching a more non-gendered boxer brief situation and came across their site. Yes, they have very comfortable underwear for all genders and sizes, but they are mostly known for their fine fragrances. While buying their underwear I bought some fragrance as well and we love it! “Herman and Kien – both fashion veterans who worked in design (Herman) and product development (Kien) – began by making the things they’d want to use on a daily basis, products that were fluid, essential, but also affordable.” Send a candle or the exploratory set ($34). I’m a big scent person and obsessed these - my personal favorites are Suede Pony and Violet Ends. Oh, also they did a collaboration with Kacey Musgraves so there you go.

Looking for cards, games, stickers or other gifts?

Photos from Awakening Boutique instagram

Stop on by Awakening Boutique - ok yes, it’s an independent sex and wellness boutique. It was founded with the mission to create a safe, inclusive, fun, and community-driven space for people to learn about and explore their sexuality. BUT it also has a TON of gift ideas - the funniest cards, awesome stickers, tarot cards, etc. They even have a party game called “The Queer Agenda.” Taylor got me a sweatshirt there recently that says “ Maybe Today Satan.” I love it. Plus you are supporting this awesome local botique. They have a location on Broadway and RINO.